Ryan Dahl (Node.js, then Deno, so this is his third JavaScript runtime-shaped apology tour) has shipped celld: a self-hosted, Apache 2 clone of Cloudflare's Durable Objects and Workers. It's API-compatible with the Cloudflare JavaScript APIs, keeps the single-threaded-object-with-its-own-SQLite model, but swaps the backend for S3-compatible storage and Tokio for the async runtime. Written in Rust and JavaScript; other languages theoretically ride in via WebAssembly. The economics are the contested part. Dahl claims 100 resident objects cost $415/month on Cloudflare versus $49 on celld (DigitalOcean bucket, 8GB droplet). Cloudflare counters that hibernating objects would run $20.65. So the savings thesis depends heavily on your duty cycle — idle-heavy workloads favor the incumbent, always-on favors celld. Take both numbers as vendor math until you benchmark your own workload. Also notable: AI-generated PRs are explicitly banned. Human low-context changes are apparently still fine. One wonders when Jensen arrives to explain that the more droplets you buy, the more you save.